Moonlight Memory
by Wordgawk
Summary: Contending between two sides of the same self is never easy. Zero understands this well. Yuuki wants to understand.


Author's note: When a small idea hits me, a story follows if I'm lucky! This fic was supposed to be "fingers-typing-stuff-into-computer" material but then it turned poetic, which meant too many edits to count. So hard to write! I'm pleased with the end result, which is always a good thing in the writing world.

Toying around inside Zero's head is fun, ooh baby.

This story takes place after the first volume of the manga. "Zero's secret" is the focus.

* * *

Moonlight Memory

The night. Zero is bathed in it. He is standing in the blackness with the overhead moon as his main source of illumination. There aren't even any stars to accompany the hazy globe. The gauzy light of casts shadows across the dormitories and the leaves of trees. He is standing at a particularly tall and resilient oak tree. Zero steps behind it and shields himself from the white luminosity from above. He thinks if he doesn't see the glare of the moon he won't be lured to acts of vampirism. That he will continue to loathe the night instead of begin to revere it like those detestable blood-drinkers.

Zero has bitten Yuuki for the first time.

First times doing anything new weren't supposed to feel this horrible. Owning a room to call his own, riding a bicycle without training wheels; these were the proper events to feel joy and nervousness over. These things were normal. Euphoria at the flow of warm, thick blood trickling down his throat was not an event Zero prayed would transpire. Unbidden, he knew one day the vampire instinct would arise after being tainted those many years ago. He knew he would feast on a human someday. But why Yuuki, of all people?

He hates himself. Some days have passed since his feeding incident and he still has trouble looking at his companion. He figures the best way to solve that problem tonight is to avoid her entirely. He has made his rounds around the dorms, as is required as his role as prefect.

Zero touches fingers to his neck where the mark is. Yes, he was marked like prey. Marked and waiting to change to a Level E vampire, who has no will of his own. His body shudders at the thought. The curse of the vampire will eat away at him? Will this despair stay with him forever? A suppressed grunt escapes his throat and he can't control his harried breath. He is becoming feverish.

"You know the trees talk, don't you?" An admonishing voice from behind Zero's head greets him.

He doesn't draw his gun from inside his coat since he's familiar with the interloper. He steadies his breath and humors the woman. "They do, do they? Am I bothering you?" Zero pats the side of the tree as though he is conversing with it. The breadth of the trunk under his hand is reassuring.

"Yes you are," the tree answers. "I don't appreciate being used as a wall."

"Aren't you meant for catering to people? Give them shade, let them climb on your branches?"

"There's more to me than playing, y'know."

Zero sighs. He's arguing with a tree. Wow, this week is full of firsts.

Yuuki appears in front of him. Concern purses her lips together. "Are you OK?"

He doesn't respond.

The other prefect places her hands on her hips. "I take it if you're slacking off here, you're done searching for tonight."

A wind picks up, rustling the sea of leaves they stand underneath. Yuuki holds back stray strands of long hair from her face. She pushes sepia locks off her neck as she does so. Zero's eyes inadvertently flicker to the creamy skin. When he realizes what he's doing, he forces his glance away. His thundering heartbeat pulses in his ears again. What is he doing? What is the vampire within stirring up? Lately, he had unwillingly fancied passing girls' necks outside of class. The Zero of old never did such a thing.

"Let's go somewhere." Yuuki announces this out of thin air. She tugs at his jacket sleeve.

Zero raises his vision quickly to the tempting moonlight. His feet are frozen in this spot. He doesn't want to stop leaning against the solid trunk of this tree. He wants to stand here and wait for the sparking crimson rays of the morning sun to break through the midnight sky and bring back dawn. But wishing is futile. He needs his sleep tonight and he refuses to nap during the daytime. _Especially _the waking hours of humans. Of who he should be but cannot anymore.

His hands clench into hard fists and his nails cut into his palms. The sting is welcome. "N-no," he answers impulsively, resisting movement. "I'm staying here. I'll leave later."

Saying those words sound childish, even to him. Yuuki's hold on his arm is insistent and she yanks. Zero stumbles forward after her, having no choice but to follow behind. The dark sky enters his full view. The hanging moon remains as bright as it was minutes ago.

In the courtyard, Yuuki seats them down at the fountain. Bountiful water spouts from the beak of the winged stone bird, as always. Inside the pool, a smattering of coins decorate the bottom. Money from optimistic wishers, no doubt, half of them probably wanting to get their hooks into one or more of the Night Class members.

From her skirt pocket, Yuuki pulls out a coin, then wiggles it in his face. "Make a wish."

Zero shrugs. What his human side wishes for cannot be granted.

Everything about him feels different even if he doesn't look it. Zero slowly inhales. The trace of scent of sweet flowers pass under his nose. The aroma must be carried by the cool breeze from the gardens that lined the entranceway. His sense of smell and hearing have altered minutely. They are enhanced.

He didn't truly realize it until this morning. In math class, he had rested his eyes briefly when the sound of a pencil dropping broke the steady flow of the teacher's words. The noise was fairly loud, like the pencil had fallen almost next to him. When he opened his eyes and glimpsed the female owner of said dropped pencil, Zero couldn't believe she was halfway across the expansive classroom.

There is a slump from Yuuki when he stays mute. "Aw, c'mon, Zero." When he remains wordless, she shrugs like he and straightens up. "All right, this wish is mine." She pauses, chooses an aspiration out of countless options, then flips the coin in the air. The heavy piece makes a low bubbly sound as it sinks straight in the water.

Zero watches her staring at the coin while it travels downward to the bottom of the pool. His gaze rivets to the square bandage pasted on the side of her neck. Underneath the plastic is where his fangs had punctured delicate skin.

_From behind the woman, his hands seize her arm and chin with inhuman speed, intent on drawing life._

The unsolicited memory crashes back in Zero's mind with as much warning as a stab to the gut. He blinks rapidly, but his eyes remain on the bandage.

Yuuki is looking at him with her round auburn eyes. "Did you find anyone misbehaving tonight on the grounds?"

_Irresistible heat radiates from her body as the vampire presses against her back. His moist tongue glides over the salty tang on the bare skin of her neck._

Zero shakes his head fervently at the mental image his recollection is taking him to. He appears to be answering her question by doing this.

_A strangled gasp from his captured little bird. Her weak protest sounds delightful._

Yuuki nods an affirmation. "I was not so uneventful. One girl. She was reading a book near the Moon Dorm."

His eyes finally tear away from the bandage. "Bad lighting out here." He is amazed he can joke while thinking of something else completely.

_His piercing fangs sink roughly in the soft curve of flesh. The blood spills..._

"It was a poetry book," Yuuki explains with amusement. "She likes Ichijou. She thought he would see her from inside and come outside to meet her. She made an impression on him, I think." The girl taps her chin thoughtfully.

_This hot ambrosia is like fine wine to a human's system, if he were one. All the vampire cares about is drowning in the pure ruby dream..._

The temperature outside must be rising. A flush crosses the cheeks of a flustered Zero. Thank the night for poor illumination so Yuuki cannot see his discomfort.

He is thanking the night. Unbelievable, but he will allow himself this once.

She keeps going. "She told him a story about poetry after he spotted a book she had. She was inspired to meet him out here when they talked." Yuuki tilts her head. "Do you think that's too bizarre a reason to be out here in dangerous territory?"

Zero's evocative thoughts shoot thrills down his spine. His face can't stop blushing. His vision stares at the reflection in the water. In the dim light he can make out his mauve eyes, the tousled silver hair. Say something, anything to get away from himself. "Is she in love with the guy or something?"

_He is in love. Intense sucking noises, loud enough to ignite excitement from him._

At his question, Yuuki giggles. Zero doesn't ask this kind of thing. "Maybe. From her enthusiasm she sounds like she has spoken a lot to Ichijou. She told me he has the dreamiest green eyes."

_There is resistance to his bite. His locked hands around her chin and arm cling more tightly to keep her immobile. Keep her his own._

The young man's eyes have widened at the tumbling water in the fountain. His breath is hitched. Madness is consuming him.

Yuuki sits back. She doesn't see he's mentally panicking like a deer in headlights. Not in this darkness. "Ichijou is nice. I've talked with him before. But him being a vampire- never mind."

_The taste is unbearably sweet. More and more of the luscious liquid. He desires-_

Zero seriously contemplates going through with the bold plan the tiniest part of his unoccupied brain just created. "You can say it. We're dangerous."

His hand is grabbed in Yuuki's smaller, but firm ones. Her gaze is unyielding. "Them. _They _are dangerous. You are Zero. I won't believe otherwise."

_With a jerk out of his arms, his prey escapes his feast. Careless he is, letting her slip away-_

With a shove, Zero removes his hand from hers. His plan is executed before he does something unforgivable. Though forgiveness is too late for his first taste. He plunders his head under the stinging chill of the streaming water. The freezing torrent cascades down the sides of his face, blocks most sound from ears, but he can make out Yuuki's muffled shocked cry of his name. He closes his eyes to the iciness. Let it wash away his sin, his guilt.

His head aches. That's enough. Zero moves back, pulling his head out of the frigid water. His hair drips coolness onto his uniform, but he doesn't care. The vampire has ceased reminiscing.

Yuuki demands to know what on Earth got into him. A dirty creature of the night, Zero is enticed to utter because it's sickeningly true. His mouth opens to express himself, but her words ring in his mind. _You are Zero._ He shakes the excess wetness from his soaked hair. "I felt like it." The truth he refuses to voice aloud, if for her sake.

"Are you nuts? You have class tomorrow! What good is a headache when you wake up tomorrow? Geez."

The sudden drop in his body temperature shakes Zero uncontrollably for a couple seconds. Yuuki was right. A migraine was going to set come morning. But Zero would take a heavy head over reigning vampire instincts anytime. "W-what did you w-wish for?" Zero shakily asks when he remembers her tossed coin in the fountain. He is curious. He wants to be curious.

Yuuki grins cheekily. "Not saying. My wish won't come true if I do."

Zero rises and turns away. He starts to smile when he murmurs low enough so Yuuki won't hear, "I hope it's to become a better cook."

A punch to his left kidney is her startling response. Oops, she heard him. He tries not to smirk when he walks. It becomes easier because Zero's side begins to throb as Yuuki continues to whack away at his back, muttering annoyed statements like he wasn't the best cook either and something about both of them making a dish for the Chairman and getting his feedback to prove who was the better connoisseur. Despite her harsh words, Zero could hear the happiness poking out from them.

His eyes widen when Yuuki steps forward and crushes him in an embrace. The move is unexpected but he doesn't mind. His arms stiffen and a tremulous shiver wracks his solar plexus. Is feeling joy all right if he is going to transform into a hideous beast? Is there any point in experiencing jubilant times?

Yuuki's kindness, her determination... they are too much for Zero this second. His mouth compresses in a thin line.

"Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what I can do for you. If you hurt, I'll help." Yuuki vows this quietly, almost pleadingly.

Zero's defying gaze raises to the black sky, rejecting its profound and alluring pull. He continues his muteness. He can't find the words he wants, so instead his arms communicate for him. Zero returns his dear friend's gesture of support with a strength in his grasp that conveys his gratitude. She is staying with him. She is fighting alongside him.

- THE END -


End file.
